Last Sunday

A few months ago Vince and I joined a community choir--we actually tried out and made it although we readily admit that we were coaxed, cajoled, and begged to try out by the director and so she had to let us in at that point no matter what our try out sounded like. Anyways. Choir practice is every Saturday night from 7:00-9:00. Since we have 9 AM church Sunday morning we always have to remember to tell the kids to SHOWER or BATHE while we are gone. Last Saturday we forgot.

Of course only Eva had cleaned herself so we (and by we I mean I because Vince had early meetings) had to wake them up early to get it done before church. I decided to wake Ivy first--since she is the slowest. She got right up and took a normal bath which was a relief because we didn't have time for her to spend the normal 60 minutes in there. Actually, all the bathing went very smoothly and I remember feeling very relieved and happy about it. Then we had to start breakfast which was easy because I had cold cereal in the house and there is nothing better than cold cereal when you are rushed in the morning. Except when the person who did the dishes the night before doesn't turn the dishwasher on. All the bowls were dirty. So we had cereal in soup mugs. Which worked out well. One soup mug did not fill them up so I told them that they could have another when they were COMPLETELY DRESSED. Just as a reference it was 7:45 when I made this announcement and Ivy was dressed--all she had to do was comb her hair and put shoes on.

8:35 (we were supposed to leave at 8:30) Ivy announces that she is ready for her second mug of cereal and I have to tell her we're leaving and it's too late which prompts a response like: "WHAT?! That's not FAIR! I was going to have another bowl but YOU wouldn't let me and I was hungry! And I HAD time then but you wouldn't let me and that's not fair! I'm STAAAAARVING!!!! I CAN'T go to church so hungry!" She can spit all of that out in like 3 seconds and of course it was accompanied throwing and contorting of body parts in various directions. I tried to reason with her: "But Ivy I woke you up FIRST so you would have time. You had 40 minutes to find your shoes and comb your hair. You should have moved FASTER." It was no good--there was no reasoning with her and really I should know better anyway.

8:38 We get in the car with the crying Ivy.

8:40 We are halfway to church, Ivy is still moaning about breakfast but abruptly stops when Ethan says: "I get to pick the bench today!" This of course started a cacophony of "What? Why does HE get to choose? I never get to pick it! It's NOT FAIR!"

8:41 I announce that only Mom and Dad will choose the bench from now on. Forever. Ethan responds with, "OK but can we sit on a little bench?" I have NO idea why he is obsessed with the little bench thing but we have this talk. Every. Week. We fit on a smaller bench. Barely. And no one likes to sit that close to each other. I tell him that we are not sitting on a little bench--that's one reason we leave early.

8:43 We arrive at church and everyone gets out of the car to go in. Except Ethan because he is upset that he doesn't get to choose the bench and that we don't get to sit on a small bench.

8:45 Eva, Nathan, Ivy, and I sit down on a bench to wait for the meeting to start. Ivy resurrects the breakfast drama. I tell her that she now has a strike because I don't want to talk about it anymore and if she gets 2 more strikes she will not have dessert. She hits me.

8:47 I take Ivy into a classroom so she can stand in the corner.

8:49 I leave Ivy in the classroom and tell her that when she is done with the yelling about breakfast she can come to the chapel and sit with us. I go back to the chapel and sit with Eva and Nathn and realize that Ethan is still not there. A friend points him out to me. He is in the chapel. Sitting on a small bench.

8:51 I go sit by Ethan. Right. By. Him. Hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder. He tells me that there is plenty of room and WHY can't we sit there! I start to think of how to coax/beg/drag him back to our bench and then get a bright idea. I say "Ethan--are you OK with me sitting this close to you? Because if you're OK with this we can sit here but you have to sit right next to me the whole meeting." He agrees.

8:54 I motion Eva to our seat and tell her we are going to switch benches and ask her to get our stuff. She acts like Ivy and says something like "What?! Just because HE wants to! Why do We have to move!" And then stomps off to get our stuff. The ladies behind me are giggling and I am fighting giggles because the whole morning suddenly seems very ridiculous.

8:55 Eva comes back with Nathan and our stuff and sits down with a big SIGH. The ladies giggle more. Then I remember where Ivy is and that she needs to come back but I can't leave without compromising my spot Right. Next. To. Ethan. So I tell Eva and she sighs again and goes to get Ivy.

8:57 Eva and Ivy come back and Ivy immediately earns another strike. Because of the breakfast drama. The ladies giggle some more. I say to the ladies "I wore yellow because it's a happy color" and "Nathan's happy!" They giggle some more. I smile and fight down the giggles. Ivy lays her head down on my lap to cry silently and Ethan asks if I can move down a little. I tell him that's not part of the deal.

8:59 Vince comes and looks at us and the bench. He has a questioning look in his eyes when our eyes meet. I can hear him asking: "Why are we sitting here? What's wrong with Ivy?" Before he can say anything I say: Don't say. A word. Just sit down." He says "OK." The ladies laugh some more. We are past giggles at this point.

3:00 PM I tell Vince about our morning and why I was a little short with him just before the meeting. When I get to the end he says, "I was going to ask you why they were so reverent and how impressed I was!"