Thursday, July 30, 2009

Adult Conversation

Here are two reasons why I crave adult interactions of any kind:

Iy was snapping beans (from the garden!) and says: "Mom, I think this bean is bad."
Me: "No, it's fine Iy. Just snap it."
Iy: "Mom, look at this bean--it's not good." Yes, it's the same bean.
Me, looking: "The bean is fine Iy."
Iy: "Mom LOOK AT IT! (Of course I had) I think it's BAD!"
Me, touching the bean right in front of her: "IY! The bean is FINE! Just SNAP it!"
Iy: "OK, why didn't you say so in the first place?"

Part II:
Me: "Ev may I borrow your head phones for the gym?"
Ev: "Go buy your own."
Me: "Can't I just borrow yours? You don't use them at 5 AM."
Ev: "Hey, I'll just charge you rent. With interest."
Me: "And I'll send you MY bill."
Vince: "Ev and I had a great talk about interest the other night."
Me: "Great. Thanks for that."

I Love Funny News Stories

I love to read the morning paper. When I get up one of the first things I do is head outside and dig around the end of the driveway for my newspaper. I like to read the comics, the editorials, the news stories, the features,... Everything except the sports page, really--I rarely read that. And I rarely read obituaries. Yesterday an article called "Baby snakes cause man to crash his car" caught my eye. It's in the news capsules briefs section which happens to be some of my favorite stuff. So I see this title and I'm wondering to myself HOW do baby snakes cause a man to crash his car? Were they in the road? Was the man trying to swerve around them? So I start reading.

"Police say two pet baby snakes escaped" Stop right there. The man was carrying the baby snakes in his car and they escaped. Yeah, that's a little distracting. I can picture that. Wait. It gets better.

"Police say two pet baby snakes escaped from a 20-year-old man's pants pockets" WHAT? Who carries snakes in their pants pockets? Little boys maybe but a 20-year-old man? Yuck. Wait. It gets better.

"Police say two pet baby snakes escaped from a 20-year-old man's pants pockets as he was driving" OK--so some MORON put baby snakes in his pockets before he got behind the wheel? Really? No wonder he crashed his car. He's an idiot.

"Police say two pet baby snakes escaped from a 20-year-old man's pants pockets as he was driving, leading to a car crash." Of course there was a crash.

"Police say the man lost control of his sport utility vehicle Monday when the snakes slithered (eewwww) near the gas and brake pedals and he and a passenger tried to catch them." I guess it's too much to ask a person who keeps live snakes in his pants pockets to PULL OVER and/or STOP the CAR before he starts digging around to recover the snakes.

"Police say the SUV veered into some parked cars and overturned."

At least no one else was hurt. And I started the day with a smile on my face and a good chuckle (OK--I laughed out loud). I can see why the snakes were trying to escape. And I know it's wrong but stories like this make me feel better about myself. Because if I get in a car wreck at least it won't be because I put creatures in my pants and then tried to fish them out of the car while I was driving. Yes, I can at least do THAT right today!

Saturday, July 25, 2009


Last night Vince cooked dinner and it was yummy! Of course Iy didn't want to eat her onions. "I hate onions! Why does everything have to have onions?!" So I told her that I knew she didn't care for onions so I found some special onions that taste like corn. Her eyes perked up and she looked interested so Vince joined in, "Yeah, they're called cornions." We are working really hard to keep straight faces at this point and I have to say we did a fantastic job. Parenting has made great liars out of us. I said, "You'll like cornions Iy, taste it and see." So she did and we asked her how they were. She threw both arms in the air (always the drama queen) and said "I LOVE cornions Mom! You should get these all the time!!" I said (still with a straight face) "Oh, I'm so glad you like them Iy because I bought a whole bunch of them and they are in the refrigerator and I will have to use them up." Iy gave us her signature "Yesss!" with a fist pump.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Iy the Drama Queen

Last night as we were trying to read scriptures Iy VERY dramatically threw herself on the sofa, her arms over her head, and wailed "I can't read! My Tooth. Is. Too. Bloody!!!" She's been trying to pull it out for days. It takes so very long because she just pulls on it a little tiny bit because it hurts to turn it. Also, if she turned it the tooth would come out faster and what's the fun in that?

Back to the drama. I had seriously had it. We have had a couple of days of pure whiny and bored kids because I told them no TV, Playstation, Wii, or computer games and we had a withdrawal period. Thankfully, we've had none of it today, but yesterday was the WORST day of summer I remember ever having with the kids. At one point I had spent more than 20 minutes talking with Et about what he could do for fun, mingled with a few chore ideas, when I finally told him that maybe he should just go in the bathroom, close the door and practice making grouchy faces in the mirror.

So you will understand when I very mockingly and dramatically responded to Iy's drama by throwing my body on the sofa, my hands over my head and cried (wailed) out: "I CAAAAN'T! MY TOOOOOTH IS BLOOOOOODY!!" To which Iy replied "No". For a split second I figured she had realized how ridiculous she looked but I was wrong. She said, "No, I SAID my tooth is TOO bloody!"

We all laughed, and loved it even more at Iy's puzzled expression at our laughter.

I learned/remembered something new this week. I was reading my scriptures on Monday and the one that jumped off the page at me was how you can't "make" people do things. And I was thinking about my distribution/nagging of chores each morning. After pondering it for some time, I decided that the kids could each choose their 3 mom's choice chores and then tell me what they were so I could approve them. After spending days of coaxing, ordering, and begging them to do simple chores like unload the dishwasher, make your bed, pick up the living room, put shoes away, etc. the day goes somewhat like this:

Iy: "Mom, for my 3 chores I want to clear off the coffee table, clear the kitchen table, and clean baseboards."

Me: "The first two sound great, but which baseboards do you intend to clean?" I was going to commit her to cleaning the baseboards in one room.

Iy: "Can't I clean the baseboards in the whole house?"

Me: "Yes. Yes you can."

Iy: Fist pumping "YES!" Runs off to do her chores.

I'm guessing the scripture was right.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Iy & The Bookstore

Me: "Iy, look at this book, it's about..."
Iy, interrupting: "Mom, I like this one"
Me: "What's it about?"
Iy: "I don't know but it has a great cover and I always pick books by their cute covers and this one is SOOOOO cuuuuute!"

I started to prepare the whole "you can't judge a book by it's cover speech" but then bit my tongue and decided she would eventually figure it out on her own someday. But then something about Iy became abundantly clear to me!! Iy LOVES cookbooks! When we got to the library the kids are allowed to choose 5 books and almost every time Iy will choose 2-3 cookbooks out of the adult nonfiction section of the library. The bookstore was no exception--Iy quickly located the cookbook section and began BEGGING for a cookbook. I guess those covers look cute AND yummy!

Bra Shopping

Hopefully everyone who reads this won't mention this post to my oldest daughter. Yesterday we had to go bra shopping. It wasn't the first time, but she needed a different size. I hate bra shopping!! We had such a hard time finding the right fit for her--it reminded me of when I was a girl. I hated the fact that I had to wear and/or shop for one. I'm pretty sure that I was in tears on the bra shopping trip. I'm sure the experience was as awful for my mother as it was for me. Ev was really good about it. She seemed pretty content and very patient--she had to try on MANY. She ended up pleased with the end result. WHEW! When we got home she proudly and happily announced to her dad that she had done some shopping. He, not knowing what we had been shopping for and feeling a little playful, ripped the bag out of her hand and said, "What's in here?!" She tried to get it back from him but he held it out of her reach, peeked in, and then told her she could have them and gave them right back. He was a little embarrassed, I think. Ev thought his embarrassment was funny! At her age I would have been horrified!

The best part of the shopping trip was Iy. "Oooooh, look at this one--it has bright hearts!!" She was a little scandalized that Ev was only interested in white ones. "How about pink? Or blue?" Then she started with this line of comments: "Mom, how come Ev gets all of these and I don't get any? I want one!" I would tell her that she didn't need one for a while and she would come back with "Why?" which Ev and I just laughed about. Then she tried a new tactic: "But there are some little ones here and they would work!" I'm just guessing that Iy is going to let me know as soon as she thinks she has enough growth to justify getting a bra. So different from me--I don't know where she gets it!!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I Need A Vacation

I'm picturing a quiet couple of days AND nights with Vince. No kids. A luxury we have never taken. We've been married almost 14 years and I think we are entitled. While we didn't take our kids with us on the pioneer trek, I'm saying that didn't count. For obvious reasons. I'm picturing that we would go horseback riding, or 4-wheeling, or sleep out under the stars, or in a tent, or go hiking, or just stay in a hotel room. We could even travel--don't care where, I'm easy to please! We'd have such great conversation. Except for the fact that I'm a total wuss and I wouldn't say much if I was riding a horse except "whoa" "Whoa there" "Stop" and "I want to get off". I don't really get along with horses. I'm thinking that Vince would want to go faster than 5 mph on a 4-wheeler so maybe that wouldn't work out. I'm good for sleeping out under the stars, though. Same with a tent. I like hiking but I freely admit that I sometimes struggle to keep up with him AND have enough air to carry on a conversation. If we stayed in a hotel room we would take advantage of the quiet stress free environment and just sleep and read. I'm guessing that our best shot at uninterrupted conversation and together time is a little camping trip. I'm thinking people should put bugs in his ears. The right people know who I'm talking to!! The great thing about this is that we COULDN'T take the kids with us even if we wanted to because only the little truck is in good enough shape to get anywhere right now. I'm thinking about not getting the family car fixed.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

He's Growing Up

Yes, it's true N is really growing up. Have you ever gotten up one morning and realized that one of your kids is just.......different? Well, N is not even a little boy anymore. He's all big. I know because...

In the last week he has only asked for 2 "snuddles"....and I asked for more than 2

He picks fights with his siblings. Sometimes for pleasure I think.

He doesn't make as many messes.

He tells me he WON'T do his chores. He may be grown up, but he's not wise yet. That doesn't work at our house!

He gets dressed all by himself.

He can make his own mud he still makes some messes, but they're outside!

When he's muddy and coming in the house he stands on the front door and yells for me "MOOMMM! MOOOOMMMMM! I Muye! I nee baf!" He doesn't track it in the house anymore and he actually ASKS for a bath!!!!

He opens doors for girls

He goes into the school all by himself and doesn't want me to go with him.

He doesn't want me to hold his hand when we go places.

Sunday we were running late and he was the Pokey Puppy, if you know what I mean and by the time we got in the car I was tense and told him to put his seatbelt on. He looked me straight in the eye and said "I can't" and held up his finger which had one of those stupid Chinese finger traps on it. I said yes you can, use your other hand! He looked me straight in the eye and put his other finger from his other hand in the stupid Chinese finger trap and said, "I can't. I'm stuck." At which point Ev SIGHED a big sigh, rolled her eyes, pushed him in his seat, and buckled him. This was the first time I can remember him so blatantly trying to push my buttons.

Goodbye to babies, toddlers, and little people in our house...