Another Nathan Update

A couple of weeks ago Nathan asked his teacher if he and another boy could do their work in the hall because the classroom was too noisy.  I was excited for several reasons: he recognized he couldn't concentrate with the noise, he talked with his teacher about it, he successfully articulated his concern, and he recognized that someone else was also having trouble and tried to help them.  It was a proud mom moment for me.  Of course this summer an audiologist emphatically suggested that we get Nathan some headphones to block background noise for this very reason but the principal and teacher had some concerns so we decided to wait and see what would happen.  Nathan was thrilled when I went to school the day after his teacher told me this story and scored him a set he keeps on his desk.  I did have to do a bit of talking to make that happen but let me tell you a child saying they can't concentrate on their work makes my job tons easier!  The first day with the headphones was good but he did say that he was annoyed with his partner during centers who kept talking to him and he was close enough that the headphones wouldn't block it out.  The second day he was thrilled when he was able to block out this boy's talking.  (I was excited about that too because maybe the headphones will help him be able to do that somewhat effectively without headphones someday.)  I've talked with another parent volunteer and she said that when it's work time Nathan puts those headphones on and gets his stuff done.  This is exciting, as he hasn't yet been able to successfully complete work at school.  It looks like auditory processing testing is a given and I can't wait to see someday what else we can learn specifically about Nathan and how to make things a bit easier for him!!

His clinician at the U of U this term is amazing!  Every student clinician up there has been excellent but up to this point we have been fortunate to work with 2 that really understood Nathan and developed a plan that suited his needs perfectly.  This term we get to work with a third talented clinician.  Her name is Amanda and I love her approach.  She rarely has to redirect Nathan--he has a good time but he doesn't get too wound up or off topic.  I pretty much think she's brilliant.  

Sometimes progress seems slow and expensive in time and resources.  During the car drama we were tempted to set an ending date for speech.  That week I also had an opportunity to volunteer with Nathan's class and had a moment with the other little boy Nathan took in the hall with him that day.  Let's call him Tom.       When Nathan and Tom were in Kindergarten they both had trouble but Nathan was much more severe--all around.  I don't know what happened between entering Kindergarten and now with Tom because I've been pretty busy working with Nathan. Nathan and Tom have similar histories.  Tom has had hearing loss associated with fluid in the ears, has trouble communicating verbally and nonverbally with other people (probably confidence related), has a submucous cleft palate (fixing Tom's palate wasn't an option due to severe allergies and asthma), ... The other week when I was at school I worked with Tom a little bit and I was surprised that I couldn't understand him.  Given my experience with Nathan and Ivy I can usually pick things out but I got nothing from Tom.  I was shocked.  I know Tom's parents have worked hard to get him help and to help him.  I believe the difference is that Tom gets private therapy twice a month for 30 minutes in Salt Lake and Nathan gets therapy twice a week for 60 minutes.  Last year I talked with Tom's mom about Nathan's therapy and suggested we could save money on gas by carpooling and they weren't really interested.  This time I've talked to Tom's dad and offered to just take Tom and his mom with us--we're going anyway.  He said to get him the paperwork and I'm praying it works out for them.  It broke my heart to see and hear Tom because I know how hard it is for him.  It also made me grateful that the Lord has directed us in Nathan's therapy and blessed us.  It was a bit of a tender mercy to see precisely where Nathan would most likely be if we had decided the sacrifice was too great.  And it was a poignant reminder of how hard Nathan has worked and how much progress we get to celebrate!  

Birthday!

Last Thursday Eva turned 14!  Now she can go to dances--except our Bishopric ran out of dance cards :(

It's hard to believe that in a year she'll start driving!  Seriously I can't wait.  I'm looking forward to another chauffer :)

We are so proud of Eva--she's a remarkable girl!  I'm going to brag about her a bit :)  She works so hard to develop her talents, be a good friend, help her siblings, etc.  She is an accomplished musician--she gets to start playing Beethoven's Pathetique (a piece I learned in high school) and she's working on her Suzuki book 6 in violin.  She loves working with the yearbook committee and participating in young women's.  She's nearly finished with her first personal progress medallion.  She has a beautiful testimony of our Savior and His place in her life and finds joy in reading about Him in her scriptures.  We sure love having Eva in our family!!

For Eva's birthday she got an i-home, a new SD card for her camera and......her own room!  We spent the weekend moving Vince's stuff into the room that will one day be a bathroom, Eva's stuff into Vince's old space, Ivy's stuff upstairs to the boys' old room and the boys downstairs to the girls' old room (yes, the one with the pink carpet--and Ethan is NOT thrilled about pink carpet :))  I'm hoping all this moving explains the late birthday blog :)

It's amazing how clean everyone's bedroom is.  Everyone's!  The boys really did need tons more space.  Eva and Ivy each claimed that it was the other one making the mess in their room.  I guess they were both right?!  Maybe it's too early to tell.

In other news--a week before Eva's birthday Vince's truck broke on the way home from work.  His front passenger tire was sideways.  We felt super blessed that going 75 mph on a busy highway during the commute, when people drive to close, that no one bumped him and he was able to get off the road without rolling.  He left a long indentation in the highway and apparently there were many sparks.  After a tow, 2 new tires, 4 new ball joints, and some controller thing under the car that was damaged we have his truck back.  BUT while we were waiting for that work to be done the Expedition broke down--right before the weekend.  So we were a small one-car family for a weekend.  The Expedition sounded Really Bad and we were thinking it might be time to say good bye or replace the transmission but our wonderful new neighbor looked at it and said it needs a new CV joint which is really not a big deal :)  We were thinking Vince would fix it but after looking at his schedule and taking into account that he's not very comfortable with that plan we took the key to the mechanic and are now waiting for that vehicle to be towed.  Thank goodness we had our super old 1993 Subaru to tie us over!  The irony of that was not lost on me but when I pointed it out to Vince he muttered something about that one being sure to break down now.  It was a bit of a stressful weekend around here....

Eva Sewing

Ok. my Mom asked me to post pictures of the new dress I made, so here they are!! I was hoping this sewing project would take 10 hours so I could count it for my Integrity project, but it looks like I'm going to have to make another thing. Anyway, here the pictures of me in my beautiful new dress and haircut!!!

Big Performance

Last night was my big performance at the assembly hall--my family was really excited.  For it to be over.  Eva put it succinctly when she said, "Finally!"  The whole thing turned into a much bigger project than I ever would have imagined and I had a few 4+ hour practices as well as my practicing at home, attempting to write modulations, key changes, and accompianments.  Most of this was well over my head and I was clearly out of my league.  The soloist has a beautiful soprano voice and is a fabulous performer but I think she would do better with a pianist who could play by ear--it would be a better fit for her, I think. 

BUT I had a great time--especially last night!  By that time it was clear there was nothing I could "do over" or "do better" so I decided on the drive in to Salt Lake that I was just going to enjoy myself and enjoy the assembly hall and enjoy being with the friends I had made during the project.  And I did just that!  The assembly hall is a beautiful building!!  As a performer, I not only got to be on the stage but I got to go behind the stage and see the green room, and the halls and doorways leading to the upstairs seating, main floor seating, and the stage.  Every door was only about 6' or so--much shorter than what we're used to, anyway, and each had a beautiful doorknob with the beehive symbol on it.  The green rooms had beautiful antique looking upholstered seating and cabinets (with the fancy doorknobs) that opened to a mirror with a string of lights to check hair and make-up.  We also got to go downstairs where there was a classroom and a piano for extra last minute practicing, teaching, etc.  I'm not sure what they use it for.  One of the people in charge (there were two couples--missionaries) took us downstairs to see the rooms where Richard Elliot and the other organists work.  The three organists each have their own room and in each room is a full pipe organ and grand piano.  One of the rooms also had a harpsichord.  We also saw the tunnel that leads from the Assembly Hall to all the other tunnels under Temple Square.  The couples that work with the performers are excellent--so nice and friendly!  I want their job someday!!

I got to play on a 9 foot Steinway grand piano.  It was a huge instrument and I was relieved when they said they didn't think we needed the lid open!  The piano was so easy to play--it was easier than I ever would have thought to play notes softly and it was also very easy to play a nice tone.  The instrument was beautifully balanced, which in rehearsal took me a little while to get accustomed to.  I decided that if I had something like that to practice on I would likely want to practice all the time!  It was easier (than any piano I get to play on) to make the music sound "right" on that piano.   

The performance went well--for me, it was the best I'd played the full set of music in one sitting, but there was definitely still room for improvement.  Still, I was happy with it, knowing I did my best with the time I had and the challenges thrown at me.  For this performance, it would have been less stressful for me if I had been pursuing my personal music more aggressively through the years.  Sometimes I have wondered if I regretted letting some of the skills go.  I have had people ask me if I regret not getting my music degree.   I can honestly say I only regretted it last night and at rehearsals for this project.  Even then I didn't really feel "regret" as much as I felt inadequate.  Mostly, I felt a little as Eva did, that I would be glad to finish this project and get back to what I really love doing now--being a mom and taking care of my family and helping them develop their talents.  The degree I did get in college has been immeasurably valuable to me in being a mother, especially a mother to Nathan.  I know that if I did not have my BSW I would not have been able to fight for and help Nathan as effectively as I have.  It was fun to meet a couple of other women who have aggressively pursued their musical talents through the years--it was neat to see and hear where their musical talents have taken them and what they've been able to accomplish. 

I was excited that Lisa showed up to the performance.  I was a little disappointed that no one in my family (Vince and kids--my other family is too far away, of course) would be able to come and it was a special surprise when we were finished to see Lisa walking my way--she stayed with me the rest of the night and then we talked after.  I love having a sister so close and being able to talk with her about things like this!  She also helped me try to configure modulations and taught me some theory--thanks Lisa for being such a support!

Embarrassing Kids

My kids are often embarrassing--but not as much as they used to be when they would run yelling through the chapel at church or make "pee" soup outside or.....you get the idea.  Lately, though, I find that my kids are more often than not embarrassed by ME!  I have no idea why, exactly, but I've been hearing lately that I should not embarrass them.  Which of course makes me want to...

Then I read about a dad who waved at his son's bus every morning of the boy's sophomore year of high school:  http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705373877/Teens-dad-spends-school-year-waving-at-bus-embarrassing-son.html?pg=1  It's hilarious.  At least I think so--the kids, even Ivy--not so much.  There's a blog with pictures of what this dad wore each morning as he waved to the bus: http://www.waveatthebus.blogspot.com  Eva wouldn't even look at the pictures! 

So far the kids have told me NEVER to do something like this! 

I can't get it out of my head that I need to "step up to the plate" somehow--I'm loving what this dad did!!  Eva suggested I ask you for ideas on how to properly embarrass her.  Well, not really.  What she said, when I read this post out loud was, "What are you gonna do, ask people for ideas?"  And she didn't seem thrilled about it.  I, however, think it's a great idea!! 

What ideas do you have?

Last week my grandmother passed away.  I've been praying for her for a few years that Heavenly Father would take her home--I wasn't sure what life could mean to a person who couldn't hear, see, use the left side of her body, and was in constant pain.  I felt grateful that she could graduate from this mortal existence and greet her 2 husbands, 13 siblings, parents, and other family and friends who were probably waiting for her for such a long time.  I often wondered how grandma could stand to say good-bye to so many people.  For as long as I can remember grandma seemed to be losing friends and family to the cemetary she frequented.  I remember President Hinckley once saying that he felt like the last leaf on a tree and that the wind was blowing--I immediately thought of my grandmother.  This past week, though, I have to admit that I am going to miss her.  I've been trying to put my finger on what it was exactly that made grandma special to me. 

I have had one thought--when I was with my grandmother time stood still.  I don't know how she did it.  Every memory I have of being in her home at every age and stage in my life--when I went to grandma's house time stopped.  It was a bit like being in the temple.  Of course grandma had a clock and things to do but somehow she did everything she needed to do but never seemed rushed.  She had a way of turning ordinary events into adventures.  She would take us out to the dairy to get milk--I used to love that!  I was fascinated by the way the cows were milked and how we could just take our gallon jar to this big tank and fill it with milk.  I hated the milk--still do hate whole milk--but I loved going to the dairy with grandma.  I didn't even mind the smell.  Grandma would drive fast over the little hills, giving us that breathless feeling in our stomachs.  She would let us ride with the windows rolled down and let us put our arms out--sometimes it just feels good to feel the wind in your hair.  I remember when I was young she had a large garden and I can remember weeding and harvesting with her.  I hate gardening but I think I could like it if I could do it next to grandma.  I don't know why it was different with her, but I do know she was never demanding.  Somehow she could get me to work and make me feel good about every little thing I did without making me feel patronized.  I remember that she would often build a burn pile while working in the yard and when the work was finished we would have a "wienie roast".  I always thought it was funny that she called it that. 

Grandma was a child of the first Depression and life was always hard for her.  She was widowed twice, and made a living out of frugality.  She grew up one of the youngest children, where she would take care of animals, fields, and her ailing parents.  She nursed 3 people in their last years of life: her mother, and both husbands.  From her childhood, she worked and served, and worked some more.  This weekend the neighbors said that a couple of years ago, after her stroke, grandma could no longer stand or even sit to work on her lawn but she was accustomed to digging the crab grass out of her lawn and they caught her laying on the lawn to dig the crab grass out.  Nothing came easy for her--I believe that grandma put that kind of effort into everything and everybody she ever cared about.  I believe that given the choice about her circumstances that she wouldn't have changed anything, that she was grateful that her life was simple and that she had the opportunity to serve and love in ways that many of us never experience.  Truthfully, she made her life simple.  She knew her role and loved it.

Grandma made a career out of motherhood.  She loved family--they always came first in her life.  She was completely selfless and included all kinds of extended relations in her family.  She was the last daughter of her parents to pass away and she maintained contact established strong, loving relationships with all her nieces and nephews--there were soooo many--and they all loved their Aunt Pearl.  (As did their children and grandchildren.)  I believe that she was in some sense a mother to all of them, each in a different way.  Somehow she knew, or never forgot, what it was like to be a child.  She intuitively knew how children felt and how to make them feel important and loved.  I believe she counted anyone younger than her to be one of her children in a way.  Since she knew and loved children so well, I think she had a unique knowledge of their mothers.  As a young mother, there were times grandma would say just the thing to bring me comfort when I was worried about them and then there was my favorite quote, usually uttered when the kids were rowdy inside, or wanting to play with grandma's things: "Oh, just let them be kids!" And then she would grab the nearest one and give them a tight squeeze and a big kiss or two on the cheek. 

I admire and love her example of motherhood and I was grateful for one last weekend in her presence.  I think I want to evaluate and learn how I could make my own home more "timeless" and a place of refuge as hers was.  And when I think of grandma I will always want to hold my own a little closer and give them a big kiss on the cheek.

This past weekend was a wonderful exchange of memories and love--where time again seemed to stop in honor of grandma.

I Love My Job

We had a crazy week.  Tuesday Vince and I got to go to the U2 concert we've waited a year to see--it's Vince's favorite band and the first concert for either of us.  We parked at a Trax station and rode the train to the stadium.  It was a fantastic concert--until we started getting texts that there was a problem at home and ended up leaving early.  We got home just after all the excitement because it took us an hour just to get back to the car!!  Ivy lost a battle with our coat rack and ended up with 11 stitches above her eye, a concussion that required a cat scan, and a possible broken nose.  We are still waiting for the swelling to go down but so far the nose looks good.  I'm grateful for smart kids that knew who to call and how to help Ivy initially.  Ethan even cleaned blood out of the carpet while Eva and Ethan went to the hospital with their aunt.  I'm especially grateful that we have family close and that Aunt Lisa and Uncle James were home and so willing to help!!

The next morning I got to attend Eva's award assembly and Grandma O got to come and attend the awards assembly for the other kids.  Ethan ended up winning an award for his citizenship essay from the Kiwanis club.  All four kids ended the year with excellent grades!!  I brought Ivy home with me after the assembly because I wanted to keep her close all day--her concussion was a bit more severe than anything we've had at our house before.  Later Ivy and I got to go to 8th grade "promotion" where Eva performed with the orchestra and I accompanied a couple of 8th grade violinists.  Then to the dance festival where we had a hot dog dinner, watched the boys dance with their classes, and picked up books the kids wrote this year.  Then I went to a YW camp meeting. 

Thursday morning we all had to be at the dentist by 7:00 AM--where no one had any cavities!!  Then the kids went to school and I came home for a nap.  We found out Thursday that our favorite teacher at the school won't be there next year when Nathan would be in her grade--very sad. 

Friday was the end of the school year and the end of the week.  Nathan sang in a cute program and then later I took him to speech.  I've been reading and learning about different interventions and APD and asking the professor many questions the past couple of weeks.  He says I should be a therapist at their clinic--I laughed because I think most mothers must read and study how to help their kids!   They did give me  a form to fill out for APD--kind of an assessment--they wanted to give to their audiologist.  I'm still skeptical as to whether testing for that is entirely appropriate at this stage.  It was definitely appropriate a few years ago but I'm not sure that knowing about it now would change what we are doing and what we are able to do.  The professor said that I could ask their audiologist those things and that she would help me make the right decision. That sounds nice to me so I'll talk with her this next week.

Yesterday I dropped a very excited Eva off at Uncle Kevin's house so she could help take care of their little kids and get ready for their new baby.  Aunt Kristen is needing to lay down quite a bit and Kevin still has a week of school left to teach.  Kristen was very concerned that Eva would think this was a lame way to start her summer, which Eva thought was pretty hysterical--she couldn't be more thrilled!  And it feels good that we can "pay forward" the family support we had this past week a bit. 

I'm especially grateful for summer when I get to be a mom to my kids almost all the time without sending them off for most of the day.  Yesterday the kids wanted to begin some of their summer projects.  Eva, Ethan, and Ivy started typing lessons.  We told Ethan that if he could type 65 words a minute by the end of the summer we would buy him the video game he's wanted for well over a year.  Nathan started his computer program that's supposed to help with reading and listening and seemed to really like it (major relief for me!!)  We went to the fabric store and bought patterns for $1 and Ivy and Eva each chose some fabric for their first project.  The boys are not so much interested in sewing.  Ethan's first "project" will be to build screens for our windows.