Three of My Favorite Mom "Come-Backs"

When Ivy comes upstairs and I say something like, "Ivy where are your socks?" and she says "Downstairs" and I say go get them and she of course starts ranting and raving that she was JUST down there and I say:
"Perfect! If you were just down there then you know the way!"

When I ask any of the four to do a chore and they say something like "I just did that one yesterday!" "You always ask me to do that--it's not fair" "I ALWAYS have to do that" then I say, with relief:
"I'm so glad you already know how--it will go so much faster that way!"

When the neighborhood girls (who are 2-3 years older than him and have been driving Nathan crazy for well over an hour while I was teaching piano) come to me and say "Nathan is chasing us with a stick!" and I say:
"You should run away." They say we are and I say:
"Good! I knew you could run faster than him!" and they say yes, but... and can think of nothing else and then go away. So later I go find Nathan who is hiding out with a very big stick and tell him he can't chase girls with sticks (although I am secretly hoping he chases girls away with sticks for the next several years) and he says "Mom, they won't leave me alone" and all I can think of to say is "Just don't do it anymore" because I know they were tormenting him and he was defending himself.