Monday, February 22, 2010

Sleeping Beauty

Waking Ethan up in the mornings has turned into a game of sorts. He pretends to be asleep and I do shocking, gross, and disgusting things to pull him out of his pretend stupor. This has been going on for well over a year and so far Ethan is able to fake sleep--by fake sleep I mean not move any muscle including his eyelids and mouth--through:

*wet willies--yes, this is thorougly disgusting but I was in a crazy mood one morning and it totally shocked him and made him sit straight up and jump out of bed but it doesn't work anymore. A wet willie is a wet finger in the ear--YUCK. I'm glad it doesn't work anymore.

*elbow massages--these are just annoying and I got the idea from my Uncle Hank who used to do it to my mother.

*Tickling the bottom of the feet--this only worked once. Another time I made it work by tickling the bottom of a foot and then "sneak" tickling him in the side but that won't work anymore.

*ice--I used to put it on his arms or slip it down his shirt but it doesn't work anymore.

*flashing the lights on and off--I've only done this a couple of times because I have to feel really annoying and stand there and do it for about 5 minutes before he gets annoyed enough to quit faking it.

*bacon--it's true. If I cook bacon he'll wake up every time. Unfortunately I don't cook bacon much for time/health reasons. I should just cook one piece a day and give it to the first kid up.

*'this little piggie'--worked one time, I think mostly because it was so ridiculous.

*popping toes--my grandma used to do it and I always hated it so I've only done it a couple of times. He 'sleeps' through it anyway.

*sitting on the edge of the bed and singing soft lovely lullabies and 'I love yous'--I want to try this but I haven't had the patience.

*water sprinkles--I'll just get a cup of water and flick it on him with my fingers. It doesn't work.

*squirt bottle--better than water sprinkles but not totally effective.

Anyway, you get the idea. I have to do crazy, creative, disgusting things and eventually one of two things will happen. (1) I will get frustrated and just pull his blanket off him and pull him off the bed--that means he won or (2) he will 'wake up' sputtering or even laughing--that means I won and we get a great start at the day.

But I have one surefire things that ensures he wakes up every time. I have full confidence that it will never stop working. And it is the least annoying (in my opinion) thing I have ever tried.

A kiss. How else to wake a sleeping beauty?

If I kiss him on the cheek he immediately rolls over, coughing, gagging, choking, sputtering, spitting, rolling over, and saying "Why? Yuck! Ooooh that's gross? Why'd you have to do that? That is sooooo disgusting! Get out of my room!!! I'm getting up OK?!! eeeewwwwww!!"

'Cause everyone knows a kiss on the cheek is so much more disgusting than a wet willie.

3 comments:

One Fish said...

Lol. You should put his hand in warm water and tell him it's going to make him wet the bed.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!!

Garity said...

A kiss! I'll have to try that on Weston but then jump out of the way to miss getting hit by his flailing arms. Thankfully running my fingernail down his foot works wonders still. My dad used to flip my mattress with me on it. I was REALLY hard to wake up too.