Pollyanna

Ivy and I have been reading Pollyanna together.  It's a touching story and we are enjoying it.  I love this quote from the book:

"A father one day said to his son Tom, who he knew had refused to fill his mother's woodbox that morning: 'Tom, I'm sure you'll be glad to go and bring in some wood for your mother.'  And without a word Tom went.  Why?  Just because his father showed so plainly that he expected him to do that right thing.  Suppose he had said: 'Tom, I overheard what you said to your mother this morning, and I'm ashamed of you.  Go at once and fill that woodbox!'  I'll warrant that woodbox would be empty yet, so far as Tom was concerned."

"What men and women need is encouragement.  Their natural resisting powers should be strengthened, not weakened...Instead of always harping on a man's faults, tell him of his virtues.  Try to pull him out of his rut of bad habits.  Hold him up to him his better self, his real self that can dare and do and win out!...The influence of a beautiful, helpful, hopeful character is contagious, and may revolutionise a whole town...People radiate what is in their minds and in their hearts.  Tell your son Tom you know he'll be glad to fill that woodbox--then watch him start, alert and interested!"

It's a good parenting reminder for me.  I love this approach!  This is the most interesting/powerful part for me:  "Their natural resisting powers should be strengthened, not weakened."  How true!  I want my kids to have strong resisting powers--they will need them in this world!  These natural powers are part of the strength their Heavenly Father has blessed them with to become eternal beings.  If I 'nag' the kids into doing what I think they should I risk weakening their resisting powers.  I'm reminded of the following message from conference:

Elder Wilson taught that when one tries to “compel someone to righteousness who can and should be exercising his or her own moral agency,” he warned, “we are acting unrighteously.” Instead, he admonished, “when setting firm limits for another person is in order, those limits should always be administered with loving patience and in a way that teaches eternal principles.”

Elder Wilson explained that compulsion created by unrighteous dominion prevents learning opportunities for those being coerced. He taught that parents need to be especially cautious of making this mistake with their children.

Perhaps parenting through encouragement is a way to avoid unrighteous dominion.