It's Christmas!!

Today begins my favorite part of Christmas when we can spend time together as a family and relax!  I've been looking forward to it for the past 5 weeks :) 

Christmas is a great time for reflecting on the past year isn't it?  I'll admit being on an emotional roller coaster since my last post.  After I posted about Nathan's last speech pathology assessment I googled "short palate".  Many times.  I kept coming up with cleft palate...finally I decided I'd better read what the search engines were giving me and it turns out that as far as I can tell a short palate is a submucous cleft palate.  And after reading details of a submucous cleft palate it turns out that Nathan had almost every symptom as a baby.  I'll keep you posted as we become more certain.  It's exciting and hopeful to be getting real answers but at the same time it's very disheartening for me as a mother to consider the possibility that my son has had a form of cleft palate that has been undiagnosed for nearly seven years!!  Most of the time I don't know whether to smile or cry and I'll admit to a lot of crying for the past two weeks...I think it's a grieving process.  Knowing and treating this years ago would have changed everything for Nathan's childhood, development, and future....as a mother I can't help but grieve a bit.  I think I can finally write about it now because I'm beginning to move out of the grief phase.

This week I have been blessed with great friends and family....I feel so loved!  I know our Heavenly Father watches out for us and finds a way to put His loving arms around us when we are feeling discouraged.  We were able to go to the temple and perform sealings Wednesday night.  I don't think there is anything more beautiful than going to the temple and sealing family units!  We came home to find a sweet sister from the ward had come to stay with our three kids at home (Eva was babysitting at a friend's house so they could come with us).  This sister helped my kids clean in my kitchen and living room, played with the kids, brought a box of oranges, and cleaned and folded laundry.  She expressed how impressed she was with the three kids and told me I had obviously trained them well because she suggested they clean up for 10 minutes and the kids worked for 2 hours (it's Chistmas and I've been working on finishing projects, getting people places, and enjoying time with my family--in short I've been shooting for Mary, not Martha).  She said she saw an entirely new (to her) side of Ethan.  She was impressed that the kids knew how to do everything and work all the appliances,...  We hadn't been home five minutes when another woman from the ward called to tell me she had a book she felt I needed to read and she wanted me to have it that night and would bring it over.  It was very inspiring and I'll review it when I've collected my thoughts about it.  The next morning someone wanted to "spoil" Eva and took her on a special date.  I had phone calls from sweet friends and my sister...I hadn't been able to talk with them for a while.  Then Vince and I went to a Christmas party and had a wonderful night!  We came home to find another super friend and neighbor had left us a homemade pie.  I feel inundated and after being so discouraged for a while I just know that I'm not alone and that my Heavenly Father is looking after us.  I'm so grateful for all He gives us!!

I love how our Savior's love is expressed and felt so freely during this time of year!  Today I'm looking forward to playing games and watching movies with the kids.  I may start sanding the kitchen table this morning--that probably comes as a surprise but I wanted to start it a couple of days ago.  (I want to learn to refinish furniture so we can start collecting nice furniture for our home on the furniture budget I have--which is virtually nothing.  I decided to start with the kitchen table because I can't make it worse than it is so it'll be a great learning piece.  Surprisingly, Vince is entirely supportive of this venture!!)  I want to take the kids sledding today--we've been twice this week already but there may not be enough snow today.  I should rephrase the "we've been sledding" to the kids went sledding and I crocheted in the car...with the heater on at times...  I've never really enjoyed sledding!  Then I imagine we'll have lots of hot cocoa today and a yummy ham dinner--Eva's cooking.  There's a story I should probably tell sometime.  And we'll make cookies and open a few Christmas Eve gifts--the traditional PJ's and ornaments.  Then we have everyone's favorite part (OK--it's my favorite but I'll admit that all the kids may not be mature enough to think this beats sledding, movies, or cookies...) when we turn off all the lights, turn on the Christmas lights and light all our candles and review the Christmas story and sing a couple carols and have family prayer.  It's very relaxing and peaceful and the kids think it's very special to light candles!!  Christmas Eve day is generally my favorite of the year.  We pack it so the kids will sleep well and it works for us :)