Eva wants to go to Violin Suzuki Camp--badly. She has spent the week fundraising and advertising for weeding for money opportunities during spring break and has been very successful! One neighbor pointed out that a very popular babysitter will be moving this week and that Eva is a logical replacement. She also said that at least one of the families are "hard" to babysit. I scoffed. I seriously doubt Eva is going to experience anything she hasn't taken part in herself or witnessed in our home. Here are a few of the 'highlights' (I'm not saying who did what):
--Running from the babysitter, accomplished in one of two ways: (1) running away into the neighborhood (2) when kind neighbors offered to watch ours they would run home and hide in the house.
--Hiding under the bed and refusing to come out because the babysitter insisted the child wear pajamas. Parents had to come over to diffuse the situation.
--Oil spill in a bedroom. 'Nuff said.
--Various bodily fluids in various rooms of the house that have to be cleaned up--but I still maintain that this kind of thing happens in most homes with kids!
--Blue jello stains in the carpet--they were dipping and licking and there was a spill.
--Miscellaneous holes in the walls. My favorite is the baseball sized hole created by the child who wanted to (1) create a shelf in the wall (2) see how the wall was put together. There was a similar incident to that child's mattress. All I have to say is that the child had better be a wealthy engineer one day and pay for my new house with perfect walls.
--Pushing out the window screens to let the flies out of the house.
--Writing on the walls. Every one of my kids did this. One of them created a huge apple tree mural with dry erase markers on a wall in the bedroom.
--Hammering the TV. Surprisingly, the TV worked for several more years but is now being retired so the hammering evidence will also disappear. An inside door was also hammered a different time by a different child.
--Magnifying glass destruction. One of my children burned a hole in the neighbor's mailbox with a dollar store magnifying glass. We no longer own any type of magnifying glass.
--Kitchen spills. My kids all became masters at various kitchen incidents. The best one was when a child spilled a gallon of milk on my stove, rubbed a couple cubes of butter in it, got a frying pan and added another cube of butter, a lot of cocoa powder, and some sugar and honey. Terrible mess to clean up.
--Poison control--yes we've called a couple of times.
--911. A few of my kids called them too--like the one time when one of my four-year-olds told one of my two-year-olds which numbers to push. And I had to call a few times like when one child disappeared and couldn't be found and when was finally located admitted to watching us look for them and thinking it was funny and another time when a neighbor called me to tell me that another of my kids was riding their bike down main street. Police had to bring that one home.
--Taking the 6-7 foot drop out the bedroom window to sneak out of the house and play. More than one child did this. My favorite was when I finally became very exasperated with the whole thing and decided to just lock the doors and wait. It was a short wait because the child, after working for 30 minutes, couldn't get the backyard gate open because of deep snow. The poor child came up the stairs and dejectedly knocked on the glass doors and said, "Mom, let me in!" I said, "How'd you get out?" The child muttered "Out my bedroom window" I said, "Then you can come in your bedroom window!" and went in the other room and left him out there in the snow for another 20 minutes. I think it's my favorite because it was the last!
--Toaster destruction--I don't know why but they managed to go through three toasters in two to three years afterwhich we didn't own a toaster for a few years. One I had to throw away because someone stuffed a cube of margarine in it and there was no way to clean it out to be certain there would be no grease fire.
--Locking the babysitter out of the house. The guilty child in this case promised us this wouldn't happen again because "it wasn't as fun as it looked in Calvin & Hobbes." The child was obviously disappointed.
I never thought that these experiences would work to our advantage but it seems that they make other families feel secure in asking Eva to babysit. One reason may be that she has a lot of experience and I can't help but think that another reason may be that families won't have to worry about anyone in our family judging what goes on in their home since ours was such a circus for so long!
Personally, I'm just grateful that for the most part it's all over! And another benefit may be that my kids seem to be very creative, hard working, independent, and self-motivated which is serving them well as they get older--all qualities which made the four of them difficult to parent from age 2-7. Perfect practice makes perfect, right? We found out today that Eva not only won first place in physical science for her science fair project at her elementary a few weeks ago but today she placed in the district competition and moves on! Ethan will receive his Webelos badge and 5 other badges tomorrow night. Ivy is showing real excellence and discipline with her music and schoolwork (finally). Nathan is learning to read--he can read a couple of little stories already!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
What I've Learned About Fairness
Motherhood is educating me on the value, necessity, and rules of fairness.
Apparently I am a novice--I do not know what is fair and what is not fair. I do not have a natural ability for determining who is experiencing unfairness and who has more than their share of fairness. This must be critical information because it is a major topic of conversation at our house. Thankfully, I have four tireless teachers--without them I would live my life oblivious to the finer points of fairness.
For example, turn-taking: personally, I always thought I had a reasonable understanding of the concept. It seems self-explanatory. What I'm learning is that my original concept of turn-taking is too narrow. I need to "broaden my horizon", so to speak. I guess I'm supposed to remember who sat where in the car, at the dinner table, next to Dad at church, next to Dad at dinner, next to Dad during scripture study, ... I'm noticing a pattern here. Maybe Dad should have to remember this stuff! Then it would free up my mind to remember who last: got their food first, said the prayer, sat on the stool, played on the computer, cleaned the bathroom, got out of the car first (we have this debate EVERY DAY), found my keys (we have this debate most everyday too--maybe I should keep better track of my keys), tied Nathan's shoes (and everyday I wonder why I didn't buy velcro shoes), carried the laundry basket from the bedroom (we have two debates about this each week--one for each bedroom--maybe I should put them all in one room and save a debate each week), used the metronome first, practiced on the upstairs piano, helped cook dinner, ...
Maybe my problem with turn-taking is not conceptual--it's memory. I wish I could buy some RAM space for my brain.
Speaking of memory, what has happened to mine? I can remember a time when I remembered most everything. I imagine when I was a kid I had no trouble remembering all this "fair" stuff. Maybe younger brains are just more "active"--like their bodies. Somehow my younger kids are able to remember how much I read to the older kids when they were younger. That means they are retaining and drawing on information from when they were infants to 3.5 years old. Amazing! The only thing I know from that time is what my parents tell me and I also have a vague memory of my favorite doll hanging on the clothes line. That's all I remember--my mom tells me that she was hanging on the clothes line because I bathed her in the toilet but I think she's possibly mistaken because I don't remember that. It sounds very disgusting--I'm sure I would never bathe anything in a toilet!
Maybe my brain is only capable of retaining a certain quantity of information and it's filled up. That would mean this is my parent's fault for making me go to school and becoming educated--I can tell my kids that it's grandma and grandpa's fault for filling my head with all this knowledge that there is no more room for fair.
Honestly, though, why waste brain space remembering "fair" stuff when there are incessant, noisy reminders all the time. I guess I should be thanking my kids not only for teaching me the finer points of fairness but for helping me remember all the lessons.
P.S.--My kids did not think this post was at all funny.
Apparently I am a novice--I do not know what is fair and what is not fair. I do not have a natural ability for determining who is experiencing unfairness and who has more than their share of fairness. This must be critical information because it is a major topic of conversation at our house. Thankfully, I have four tireless teachers--without them I would live my life oblivious to the finer points of fairness.
For example, turn-taking: personally, I always thought I had a reasonable understanding of the concept. It seems self-explanatory. What I'm learning is that my original concept of turn-taking is too narrow. I need to "broaden my horizon", so to speak. I guess I'm supposed to remember who sat where in the car, at the dinner table, next to Dad at church, next to Dad at dinner, next to Dad during scripture study, ... I'm noticing a pattern here. Maybe Dad should have to remember this stuff! Then it would free up my mind to remember who last: got their food first, said the prayer, sat on the stool, played on the computer, cleaned the bathroom, got out of the car first (we have this debate EVERY DAY), found my keys (we have this debate most everyday too--maybe I should keep better track of my keys), tied Nathan's shoes (and everyday I wonder why I didn't buy velcro shoes), carried the laundry basket from the bedroom (we have two debates about this each week--one for each bedroom--maybe I should put them all in one room and save a debate each week), used the metronome first, practiced on the upstairs piano, helped cook dinner, ...
Maybe my problem with turn-taking is not conceptual--it's memory. I wish I could buy some RAM space for my brain.
Speaking of memory, what has happened to mine? I can remember a time when I remembered most everything. I imagine when I was a kid I had no trouble remembering all this "fair" stuff. Maybe younger brains are just more "active"--like their bodies. Somehow my younger kids are able to remember how much I read to the older kids when they were younger. That means they are retaining and drawing on information from when they were infants to 3.5 years old. Amazing! The only thing I know from that time is what my parents tell me and I also have a vague memory of my favorite doll hanging on the clothes line. That's all I remember--my mom tells me that she was hanging on the clothes line because I bathed her in the toilet but I think she's possibly mistaken because I don't remember that. It sounds very disgusting--I'm sure I would never bathe anything in a toilet!
Maybe my brain is only capable of retaining a certain quantity of information and it's filled up. That would mean this is my parent's fault for making me go to school and becoming educated--I can tell my kids that it's grandma and grandpa's fault for filling my head with all this knowledge that there is no more room for fair.
Honestly, though, why waste brain space remembering "fair" stuff when there are incessant, noisy reminders all the time. I guess I should be thanking my kids not only for teaching me the finer points of fairness but for helping me remember all the lessons.
P.S.--My kids did not think this post was at all funny.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Random Updates
Last night Eva, Ivy and I attended the Reflections award evening for our PTA Council. In November Eva placed first in photography and second in 3-D (for creating a 3-D sculpture of a flower out of wire) and Ivy placed first for photography in their respective age brackets. First and second winners at the school level have their work submitted to the council with all the other schools in Tooele. Last night the girls received certificates for participating at this level. Eva won for her 3-D flower sculpture this year and will go to state!! She also got to go to state last year--go Eva!! Last week Eva one first place in her school for her category of science project--I think it was Physical Science. This means that in a couple of weeks she will enter her project into the district science fair. What I think is most amazing about Eva lately is that she is showing an intense interest in molecular biology. She wants to learn all the can about it and is even checking out nonfiction books about it from the adult section of the public library--she's not happy with any of them so I welcome any recommendations...
Ivy got a haircut--she donated close to 12 inches so there is not much left. She has a very flattering A-line cut now and it is perfect for her!! (Eva wanted her hair in the same style but the girl that cut hers butchered it--I took her back to get it fixed and they did a nice job fixing it) Ivy was excited to receive an award for her photography submission last night.
Ethan has become ultra-helpful and a real gentleman. He frequently opens and closes my car door, the front door of the house, etc. He helps pack Ivy's lunch most mornings. Last night when we got back from the award night he and Nathan (Ethan was babysitting) were making cookies and while the cookies baked he cleaned the kitchen. It's exciting to see him grow up and it is SUPER nice to have TWO great babysitters!!
Nathan is learning to read. We have started putting letters/sounds together to make words and he is starting to get it. He and I work together every weekday morning for 60-90 minutes on reading, speech, ... I am encouraged by his progress and expect that if we can continue to work each day through the summer he will have a great school year next year--by that I mean he will have more confidence and be able to interact with other students. School is so difficult for him this year that it's all he can do to stay focused and try to get his work done.
I got a special opportunity to coach the Young Women in basketball this year--it's a lot of fun. It amazes me how teachable Eva is--it really is remarkable. She learns things so fast because she really listens and tries to do what I tell her. These are similar qualities her teachers talk about. They tell me I've taught her to learn well and I have to say that she came that way. I always thought they exaggerated until I saw her work in these little basketball practices. She's an example to me.
Ivy got a haircut--she donated close to 12 inches so there is not much left. She has a very flattering A-line cut now and it is perfect for her!! (Eva wanted her hair in the same style but the girl that cut hers butchered it--I took her back to get it fixed and they did a nice job fixing it) Ivy was excited to receive an award for her photography submission last night.
Ethan has become ultra-helpful and a real gentleman. He frequently opens and closes my car door, the front door of the house, etc. He helps pack Ivy's lunch most mornings. Last night when we got back from the award night he and Nathan (Ethan was babysitting) were making cookies and while the cookies baked he cleaned the kitchen. It's exciting to see him grow up and it is SUPER nice to have TWO great babysitters!!
Nathan is learning to read. We have started putting letters/sounds together to make words and he is starting to get it. He and I work together every weekday morning for 60-90 minutes on reading, speech, ... I am encouraged by his progress and expect that if we can continue to work each day through the summer he will have a great school year next year--by that I mean he will have more confidence and be able to interact with other students. School is so difficult for him this year that it's all he can do to stay focused and try to get his work done.
I got a special opportunity to coach the Young Women in basketball this year--it's a lot of fun. It amazes me how teachable Eva is--it really is remarkable. She learns things so fast because she really listens and tries to do what I tell her. These are similar qualities her teachers talk about. They tell me I've taught her to learn well and I have to say that she came that way. I always thought they exaggerated until I saw her work in these little basketball practices. She's an example to me.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
To Blog or Not to Blog
This morning I read the "Miss Ivy" post to Ivy--she loved it. Twenty minutes later she said, "Blog more about me mom!" Which made me laugh! I started thinking about the varying feedback I receive from my children in various situations:
About blogging:
Eva: "I want to read it--all of it!"
Ethan: "Don't blog ANYTHING about me EVER not even the fact that I was complimented by a Primary teacher or that I was clearly proud that Eva placed first in her category for the science fair!!" It is true that Eva placed first and Ethan received a great compliment. Eva's class was outside at recess when the science fair results were announced over the intercom and Ethan and Ivy told her about it when they got home--Ethan was clearly proud and excited for her but I can't blog about it so sshhhhh. I have to "stealth blog" about Ethan.
Nathan: "Read it to me!"
Ivy: "Blog MORE about me mom!"
When Vince and I kiss or other wise show affection:
Eva: Rolls her eyes and kind of smiles and generally leaves the room if she can do it gracefully without looking like she's leaving the room because we just kissed.
Ethan: Gives several noises expressing his overall disgust, shudders, looks away and ultimately says "STOP!" But I didn't blog that.
Ivy: There are several possibilities including (1) A great smile and contented sigh (2) "Do it again! Do it again!" (3) Cheering--as if our favorite team just scored some important points (4) An expression of hope for when she finds someone to love and kiss.... Or possibly all 4, especially if Ethan is expressing extreme disgust.
Nathan: This kind of activity from us clearly makes him very happy. For now.
I received an email this morning that some people have not been able to leave comments on my blog--I'm so sorry! I didn't know about that. My friend told me how I might fix that and I have made an adjustment so hopefully it will work now!
About blogging:
Eva: "I want to read it--all of it!"
Ethan: "Don't blog ANYTHING about me EVER not even the fact that I was complimented by a Primary teacher or that I was clearly proud that Eva placed first in her category for the science fair!!" It is true that Eva placed first and Ethan received a great compliment. Eva's class was outside at recess when the science fair results were announced over the intercom and Ethan and Ivy told her about it when they got home--Ethan was clearly proud and excited for her but I can't blog about it so sshhhhh. I have to "stealth blog" about Ethan.
Nathan: "Read it to me!"
Ivy: "Blog MORE about me mom!"
When Vince and I kiss or other wise show affection:
Eva: Rolls her eyes and kind of smiles and generally leaves the room if she can do it gracefully without looking like she's leaving the room because we just kissed.
Ethan: Gives several noises expressing his overall disgust, shudders, looks away and ultimately says "STOP!" But I didn't blog that.
Ivy: There are several possibilities including (1) A great smile and contented sigh (2) "Do it again! Do it again!" (3) Cheering--as if our favorite team just scored some important points (4) An expression of hope for when she finds someone to love and kiss.... Or possibly all 4, especially if Ethan is expressing extreme disgust.
Nathan: This kind of activity from us clearly makes him very happy. For now.
I received an email this morning that some people have not been able to leave comments on my blog--I'm so sorry! I didn't know about that. My friend told me how I might fix that and I have made an adjustment so hopefully it will work now!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Miss Ivy
I have noticed that every time I say something to Ivy I add something like:
Hurry!
Do it Fast!
RIGHT now!
Sometimes I say all three and more.
This became fairly obvious when we pulled up into the church parking lot on Sunday and I got out of the car and turned to get the kids but didn't have to because Ethan was all over that. Echoes of myself: "Come on! Get out of the car!! NOW! NOW! NOW! GO! GO! GO!" It was military style. Very loud and punctuated. I realized that other moms in the parking lot stopped and stared at us as Ethan marched Ivy and Nathan into the church.
Maybe you wonder why Ivy's middle name is Hurry? I've never known anyone else who spends 40 minutes going number one on the toilet. Don't even ask about number two. She has to take her bath last or the other people won't get a turn....or hot water. I wake her up at 6:30 and by 8:00 she MAY be dressed, will have used the bathroom, and spent the last 15 minutes eating 2 bites of breakfast. Most mornings we forget about combing her hair. She practices the piano almost as much as Eva because after each song she "seat dances" on the bench singing/chanting the lyrics to her songs. Sometimes she gets off the bench to get the full effect. The dentist may not believe it but it takes more than two minutes for her to brush her teeth. It takes 7 days for Ivy to put her laundry away. The first day she puts it somewhere in her room. This takes her 30 minutes, in which time I assume she has put it away. 7 days later when we collect the dirty clothes we find her clean clothes on the floor or under her bed or wrapped up in her blankets or tucked under her pillow or shoved between her bed and the wall... I always wonder what she does in the 30 minutes between the living room and her dresser.
Ivy is fond of saying, "That's not true...I'm not slow...I can do that in a couple of seconds!" Maybe she is closer to the veil than the rest of us and runs on Heavenly Father's time!
Hurry!
Do it Fast!
RIGHT now!
Sometimes I say all three and more.
This became fairly obvious when we pulled up into the church parking lot on Sunday and I got out of the car and turned to get the kids but didn't have to because Ethan was all over that. Echoes of myself: "Come on! Get out of the car!! NOW! NOW! NOW! GO! GO! GO!" It was military style. Very loud and punctuated. I realized that other moms in the parking lot stopped and stared at us as Ethan marched Ivy and Nathan into the church.
Maybe you wonder why Ivy's middle name is Hurry? I've never known anyone else who spends 40 minutes going number one on the toilet. Don't even ask about number two. She has to take her bath last or the other people won't get a turn....or hot water. I wake her up at 6:30 and by 8:00 she MAY be dressed, will have used the bathroom, and spent the last 15 minutes eating 2 bites of breakfast. Most mornings we forget about combing her hair. She practices the piano almost as much as Eva because after each song she "seat dances" on the bench singing/chanting the lyrics to her songs. Sometimes she gets off the bench to get the full effect. The dentist may not believe it but it takes more than two minutes for her to brush her teeth. It takes 7 days for Ivy to put her laundry away. The first day she puts it somewhere in her room. This takes her 30 minutes, in which time I assume she has put it away. 7 days later when we collect the dirty clothes we find her clean clothes on the floor or under her bed or wrapped up in her blankets or tucked under her pillow or shoved between her bed and the wall... I always wonder what she does in the 30 minutes between the living room and her dresser.
Ivy is fond of saying, "That's not true...I'm not slow...I can do that in a couple of seconds!" Maybe she is closer to the veil than the rest of us and runs on Heavenly Father's time!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I was realizing today that Nathan will most likely be a first grader next year which opens a new chapter in my life--one without carpooling preschoolers, kindergartners, etc. It makes me a little nostalgic that I won't get to witness my kids interacting with their peers on a regular basis but I've also decided I won't miss:
The dawdlers--you know the ones I mean. It takes them 5-10 minutes to get out of the car and walk to the front door of their house. Sometimes they're like Monk: they have to touch everything on the way, move it around, etc. These are often the kids that have to put the garbage cans on the street back to the side of the house before they let mom know they're home.
The talkers--like today when the little boy told me how he was sorry he missed school yesterday but he was sick because he ate tuna fish with mayonnaise and crackers and isn't that soooo gross and it made him sick and miss school and his dad is the real santa clause and christmas was fun because and why do you listen to this music don't you have any backstreet boys to listen to (no way) and..... I couldn't listen anymore because I was speeding and needed all my attention.
The seat belt fumblers--They CANNOT buckle their own seatbelts which means that I have to get out of the car, buckle them in, and get back in my seat. Of course the seat belt fumblers always think it's cool to sit in the very back of the car!
The parking lot dash--This is what I call the rush from the front door of the school to the car because everyone's in a hurry, no one wants to stay together or watch for cars (what's the fun in that?) so it's always a dodgecar scramble to get everyone there safely! Won't miss that!!
The criers--Everything makes them cry: someone said something that they think is mean, they slipped and almost fell on the ground, someone got the seat they wanted to sit in today, ...
The rule keepers--'nuff said.
Of course I know that my kids are absolutely like this! I remember one of the moms I carpooled with would just call me and let me know that mine was home because the kid would NOT come straight in and tell me himself!! And I definitely have the same things going on with my kids every morning when I take them to school. But when it's my kids doing this stuff I feel like I have the option to just turn the radio up and tune them out!
The dawdlers--you know the ones I mean. It takes them 5-10 minutes to get out of the car and walk to the front door of their house. Sometimes they're like Monk: they have to touch everything on the way, move it around, etc. These are often the kids that have to put the garbage cans on the street back to the side of the house before they let mom know they're home.
The talkers--like today when the little boy told me how he was sorry he missed school yesterday but he was sick because he ate tuna fish with mayonnaise and crackers and isn't that soooo gross and it made him sick and miss school and his dad is the real santa clause and christmas was fun because and why do you listen to this music don't you have any backstreet boys to listen to (no way) and..... I couldn't listen anymore because I was speeding and needed all my attention.
The seat belt fumblers--They CANNOT buckle their own seatbelts which means that I have to get out of the car, buckle them in, and get back in my seat. Of course the seat belt fumblers always think it's cool to sit in the very back of the car!
The parking lot dash--This is what I call the rush from the front door of the school to the car because everyone's in a hurry, no one wants to stay together or watch for cars (what's the fun in that?) so it's always a dodgecar scramble to get everyone there safely! Won't miss that!!
The criers--Everything makes them cry: someone said something that they think is mean, they slipped and almost fell on the ground, someone got the seat they wanted to sit in today, ...
The rule keepers--'nuff said.
Of course I know that my kids are absolutely like this! I remember one of the moms I carpooled with would just call me and let me know that mine was home because the kid would NOT come straight in and tell me himself!! And I definitely have the same things going on with my kids every morning when I take them to school. But when it's my kids doing this stuff I feel like I have the option to just turn the radio up and tune them out!
I Know I'm Losing It When...
I decide to make cornbread for dinner and then have to run to the store (my second trip of the day) to get cornmeal...
Then come home to make it and put double the milk I need...
So I add extra of all the other ingredients but when I go to bake it...
I discover the pan I need is very dirty so I go to soak it...
And the oven starts smelling because I forgot that when I made cake the other day I had a spill so I decide to live with the smell...
And wash the pan only it's too bad and the smell is terrible so I put the pan in the dishwasher and the batter in the fridge and decide to clean the oven...
After piano lessons I go to wipe out the cleaned oven and remember that it has to cool down first so I just preheat the oven and bake the cornbread...
The toothpick came out clean but that was just because the middle part was so dense that the toothpick test didn't work. Thankfully it was a big pan and there was plenty of the edges for everyone!
Note to self: Refrigerating cornbread batter for later baking does NOT work!
Then come home to make it and put double the milk I need...
So I add extra of all the other ingredients but when I go to bake it...
I discover the pan I need is very dirty so I go to soak it...
And the oven starts smelling because I forgot that when I made cake the other day I had a spill so I decide to live with the smell...
And wash the pan only it's too bad and the smell is terrible so I put the pan in the dishwasher and the batter in the fridge and decide to clean the oven...
After piano lessons I go to wipe out the cleaned oven and remember that it has to cool down first so I just preheat the oven and bake the cornbread...
The toothpick came out clean but that was just because the middle part was so dense that the toothpick test didn't work. Thankfully it was a big pan and there was plenty of the edges for everyone!
Note to self: Refrigerating cornbread batter for later baking does NOT work!
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